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My Trans Inclusionary rugby XV v World Rugby XV – it’s on thank you very much Mr Tucker!

Here’s a rugby XV of feminine trans women – World Rugby – could really have fun in banning, sorry I mean playing, as this team would be such a risk of breaking a finger nail, let alone breaking cis girls in half in rugby tackles on the field!

Of course we’d have such a “huge athletic advantage” too simply because we’re trans women!

Here I go, putting my selector’s cap on and below is my team:

Candys Caine, Carlotta (pictured far right feature image) , Caroline Cossey, Christine Jorgensen, Jen Richards [sorry you lost out to that cis male actor in playing a trans woman Jen, even though you were the best woman for the job, but you can come and play on our team}, Penny (also in feature pic in skimpy outfit) [from Carlotta’s my beautiful “boys” – Ross Tucker would love that term and says all the beautiful “boys” in the feature pic can play], Kirsti Miller [because we need a captain-coach and hooker who’s a former rugby player, who’s post-menopausal and 60 kgs ringing wet these days], Ricki Coughlin [who’s 53kgs ringing wet, but despite never going through a male puberty, she would go like a thrashing machine on the wing, as she’s a sporty girl], yours truly [because they need a fat former sprinter-winger to pack into the front row and give some weight to the team.

Also I’m there to stop Kirsti from giving lip to opponents in the front row [that’s you Tucker – we’ll give him the old Noel Kelly in the scrum hahaha lol Kirsti, oops that’s rugby league and we shouldn’t be transitioning across codes, so says the gender police in Tucker].

I also need to write a biased match report afterwards talking us up against Ross Tucker, because he’ll surely be cooking something up with World Rugby!

Kristen Worley [also to keep Tucker and World Rugby in check after her court case win against CAS in Canada].

She’ll also tell all us fully transitioned girls how androgen deficient we all are and that is the one thing on here which is no joke!

Dawn Ennis and Karleigh “Cardonnay” M will be required to use those journalistic and sporting skills and join us all in doing commentary and playing at the same time, talk about multi-tasking!

Jacqueline Harper-Grubb, soccer ref extraordinaire will be our 16th player and referee [she’ll be needed to stop the scheming Tucker].

Isabella Macbeth, who’s actually a rugby player who’s funny, but she can feed us all afterwards with her oyster shucking & last, but not least in our starting XV will be our new funny friend and trans woman in Hannah Layton. 

Love your work Hannah!

Also my fellow over-40 cricketing teammie in Erica James and hockeyroo [sorry I just stole that monicker from the Aussie hockey team] Roxy Tickle {I love that surname], well they’ll be joining us on the bench, as we need trans women sporting stars across from all sports to play!

Jarryd Hayne, our own Aussie NRL, NFL, ie San Francisco 49ers and Fijian rugby 7s discard will make a 10 minute cameo off the World Rugby bench straight from Hillsong.

He’s been benched for some time due to some off-field indiscretions.

He’ll play alongside fellow all-round “good guy and trans inclusionary fellow” Israel Folau who’s been wallowing in the “pension league” {Greg Inglis is going there to retire as a rugby league player], sorry I meant Super League in the United Kingdom after Rugby Australia kicked him out of the Wallabies for his wonderful “inclusionary” comments about gay and trans peeps.

World Rugby did approach Inglis, but like Muhammad Ali sitting out the Vietnam war as a conscientious objector, he knocked them back on the grounds of he loves his “trans sisters and brothers” and they’ve done nothing wrong to upset him.

This is also no joke, as the Australian Jillaroos can truly vouch for Inglis’ wonderfully inclusive nature and he was the first male rugby league player to bridge the gap, when women’s rugby league players here in Australia were finally included and no longer on the nose!

Tucker’s drafted in “Tiny” Valerie Adams and Sonny Bill Williams to counter our own AFLW discard in Hannah Mouncey.

Pic: The ” smallest” athlete in the world in cis gender woman Valerie Adams, seen here dwarfing cis gender man Sonny Bill Williams.

Adams and Williams will outweigh Mouncey along the lines of a 5 to 1 ratio.

Of course World Rugby’s chief scientist was asked for comment, but he said, “no comment” as he didn’t want to be taken out of context. He was then heard rambling on about some advantage thingy in his own echo chamber for an hour so, go figure!

Of course the World Rugby XV will be captain-coached by the most ” inclusive” guy of all in their chief scientist, selector, cook and bottle-washer in the one and only Ross “Phantom” Tucker [see comment directly above], as he wouldn’t take no for an answer and he said the alternative captain-coach in chief World Rugby “fossil” Bill Beaumont was not the answer in beating the Trans Inclusionary XV.

For all the talent World Rugby’s mustered, they’ll need to be at their absolute best [“and don’t forget the kryptonite” I heard Hayne say to Tucker] to beat the Trans Inclusionary XV, as Trans women have such super human powers simply for the fact we’re trans women.

Seems to be something magically happens during transition to make us even more superhuman and powerful than we were pre-transition [see witches and why some men think we need to be put down].

Now that would be an all-star team and we can request World Rugby send some other fantastic male sporting members to play against us and we can “scratch their eyes out” with our broken nails if they’re not nice to us! 

If we don’t manage to win the game with our fantastic trans super powers, at least we’ll win the dancing, sashaying and showgirl category after the match. 

Damn, who needs boat races afterwards when you have all of that! 

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